By Madeline Morgenstern
A Canadian campaign to fight global warming is using perhaps the ultimate scare tactic to raise cash for the cause: Santa Claus and his reindeer are going to drown — unless you give money, and fast.
The “Where Will Santa Live” website depicts Kris Kringle and two of his trusty reindeer struggling in the rising waters of the North Pole. Santa’s sleigh is keeping afloat on pontoons, and Rudolph and his buddy each have a pair of water wings to keep them from going under.
“The North Pole, once a wintery wonderland, is no longer safe for Santa’s workshop,” the website states. “Climate change is melting the snow and ice, and the rising water is getting too close for comfort. Santa must relocate — fast — to make sure that all the nice boys and girls still have a Happy Holiday.”
So how to do your part to keep Santa from drowning? The site offers a whole host of supplies for sale to help – things like a “Dri-Fit Santa Suit” ($49.99), a “Solar Shine Reindeer Beacon” ($29.99), and those “Magic Sleigh Pontoons.”
There’s a catch, though: You (or Santa) won’t actually receive any of the things you buy. They’re “symbolic gifts” that are simply a colorful way of donating to the David Suzuki Foundation, a Canadian environmental activism group. Instead, you’ll get an e-card with a description of your “gift” and “that warm, tingly feeling that comes with knowing you helped keep Canada cold.”
What better way to control people than through fear? What better way to get elected to powerful positions than to promise a “solution” to your biggest fears? Scare em’ early, scare em’ often, control them forever.